Should be a no brainer, because don't we mostly remember how smart and insightful and opinionated we were before we were older, smart, insightful, and opinionated? 

I'm not talking about faux mutuality, in which we pretend that experience doesn't count or that youth know it all. I'm talking about beginning with a mindset of openness and curiosity on both sides.  

But the rapidity with which the consulting relationship usually begins can obscure the reality that most of the time client and consultant don't know one another.   We don't know how congruent our views are.  We hope they're similar enough to make working together pretty easy.  We hope they aren't so alike that the consultant brings no fresh perspective. 

The client typically wants someone to take on the work to be done now, and the consultant typically wants to respond to the prospective client's sense of urgency.  So there isn't a lot of time or room for deeper exploration beforehand. 

Until the deal is sealed and both sides build rapport, there are other barriers.  The client doesn't want to share every ugly detail of what might be at the root of an organizational problem and may or may not be objective about the part s/he plays in it.  The consultant hopes the consultation plan matches what unfolds as s/he gathers more info after being hired, and that s/he's beem a good judge of the skills s/he can bring to bear.

Sometimes this works out just fine, but sometimes one side or the other is unpleasantly surprised by what's uncovered in the early days.  I want to figure out how to make this more benign and more predictable, for myself and perhaps for the client as well.

One of the group asked me why I used games and art supplies.  I was surprised, because I've been in training, retreat, staff, and planning sessions for many years in which icebreakers were always used, and while I first experienced the utility and pleasure of playing with clay and pipe cleaners in a retreat led by Stephanie Clohesy, I've seen art supplies in more and more meetings.  But it was useful to have say why.

Icebreakers help groups ease into what can sometimes be stressful work.  They help raise energy and generate a lightness that is a good place from which to begin to think together.  They can be an opportunity to for those participating to get to know one another -- particularly helpful for newer group members, and to the facilitator.  I also use them to help me get through the start-up jitters, to get a little bit of a read on the group dynamics, and I try to use what I learn about people in other parts of the meeting. 

As to art supplies, I put them out because they have a funny way of helping people think/feel/know what they think and believe, can leaven a heavy moment, and offer something to do in the more boring or anxious parts of a conversation.  They offer distractions without detracting.  Their use is entirely voluntary and some like them more than others.  The person who asked why I brought them was among those most actively using them.

Coaching in this instance consists of my listening deeply, asking questions, and reflecting themes, contradictions, and overlaps.  I also tap my own experiences with and observations of nonprofit organizations and leaders, and organizational and leadership development over time.  Homework consists of writing to go deeper about a subject raised in a session, development of an image to clarify a thought, or a trial of new behavior or practice. 

#3: Break it down for the non-expert.  Having your proposal reviewed by someone who is not an expert in your field can be a big advantage, because you're getting a fresh pair of eyes.  But it becomes a downside if you've used insider jargon and acronyms and assumed your reader knows important policy context and history.  Some reviewers can handle the time-consuming and possibly humbling experience of having to ask a hundred questions about definitions and the implications of what you propose. Others cannot, and that could mean your apparently impenetrable proposal is dinged early on.

#2: Funders like to see cooperation among groups with allied missions and working in similar or overlapping communities.  Tell the reader how you play well with others.  If you don't, change.

#1: Does your budget tell the same story as your narrative?  You might be surprised how often it does not.  Some readers begin with the financials.

Other good listeners?  Trusted colleagues, a performance coach, and my family social worker are all options I've used with happy results.